Wednesday, August 6, 2014

Does anyone go on dates anymore?

I was talking with a group of young men at church the other day and was given astonishing insight into the current dating scene. As I sat down with them to talk about life, I found something concerning: none of them were asking women out. 

Does anyone go on dates anymore?

All the guys were living a very dynamic social media life, where everyone knows a lot about each other – their favorite restaurant, what they did on their last vacation, and if they are in a relationship – but very few of them were “dating.” When I asked “Why?” Most of the men said they were fearful of “messing up” or “ending up with the wrong one”. This fear caused them to seldom date and keep female relationships plutonic and confusing.  Wow I was shocked.  And I kept thinking - that's just not right! 

I’m not even sure Christian men know how to ask a girl out and go on a date. This explains to me, why so many great Christian women at our parish are frustrated - despite our parish having one of the best young adult ministries in the country.  They are frustrated because guys aren't stepping up and asking them out. So listen up guys. Stop being afraid and take a girl to coffee. It’s not a marriage proposal. It’s just coffee.

In looking for “The One”, Christian men can easily get caught in the trap of never asking women out at all because: "She might not be 'The One'".  That’s just crazy.  The only way you will ever find “The One” is if you date enough great women to know when the right one comes along.  So stop hiding behind prayers, vague intentions, group hangouts, and TEXT MESSAGES! Great Christian women are just waiting for real Christian men who are willing to step up and date.

It seems that you men are such good guys that you obsess over questions like: “What if I’m not going to marry her?” “What if I hurt her?” “What if I don’t like her after we date for a few weeks?” Men, listen up! Stop over praying and over-analyzing and start asking! Stop the group hangouts and text messages with no clear direction. If you are clearly leading her on step up and ask her out, or stop leading her on. Group hangouts are great, but find time for one-on-one where your intentions are clear.

So here is some advice from a old Baby Boomer who dated lots of great women back in the day: Find a girl who you think is interesting and attractive and ask her out in person or over the phone (no texting). When you are on the date, put away the electronics and talk.  After you go out, call her again and ask her out again. This may sound a bit crazy to you guys – but that’s how it’s done.  And then, if you decide that it just isn't there, be straightforward. Tell her kindly you won’t be calling anymore because you aren't interested in a romantic relationship. Don’t waste her time.  Don’t tie her up in her best dating years, if you don’t intend to move forward, free her to find someone else. If you tell her you don’t want to date any more.  It will sting a little for her, but it’s better than leading her on for months and her having hundreds of discussions with her friends about what’s up with you. Be a man and don’t hide behind vague intentions and confusing relationships.

And ladies, the truth is we guys are a bit dense most of the time. If you are confused about a man’s intentions—just ask him to clarify. It’s your responsibility not to let him lead you on.  I know that’s harsh, but it is your responsibility. And come-on guys, it’s time to be a man and take girls out on dates.  Try a little “Prince Charming” and see if it isn't a better way to find “The One”. Rather than relying exclusively on prayer asking if she’s the one for you—talk to her and ask her to go somewhere with you. And then sweep her off her feet.

Stop praying, start asking. 


Kimmie Surfing San Diego said...

Spoken like a man. :)

Unknown said...

Soo True! I attended 18 years of Catholic schools and the majority of men who asked me on dates were Not Catholic & sometimes even Non Christian, which was Not my preference. Come to think of it the last time I dated a Catholic man in 2006 & 2007 he wasn't even a practicing one. Next please. ...

Unknown said...

Are you *currently* being sent into Hell forever ... automatically excommunicated (outside) of God’s Catholic Church ?

Answer: Yes you are ... you can reverse it ... please continue.

Council of Florence, Session 8, 22 Nov 1439 -- infallible Source of Dogma >
"Whoever wills to be saved, before all things it is necessary that he holds the Catholic faith. Unless a person keeps this faith whole and undefiled, without doubt he shall perish eternally."

You must believe the Catholic Dogma to be in the Church ... Dogma you have *never* seen.

Site > ... infallible Dogma throughout.

The Catholic Faith *is not* Bible interpretation ... it is the Catholic infallible Sources of Dogma. The Catholic Church didn’t even define the Bible’s New Testament Canon until 397 A.D. at the Council of Carthage.

- - - -

Can a group which enforces the opposite, the opposite, and the opposite of the Catholic unchangeable Dogma be the Catholic Church?

No, it cannot possibly be the Catholic Church ... and promotion of the opposite of the Catholic Dogma is exactly what the vatican-2 heretic cult does ... and has been doing since it’s founding on 8 December 1965 at the Vatican.

The vatican-2 heresy does not have the Office of the Papacy ... only the Catholic Church has the Papacy.

The Dogma cannot “change” or be “reversed” ... God does not “change”.

The founding documents of the vatican-2 heretic cult … the “vatican-2 council” documents … have well over 200 heresies *against* prior defined unchangeable Dogma. Every (apparent) bishop at the “council” approved the mountain of heresy, which caused their automatic excommunication, see Section 13.2 of the below site.

- - - -

Section 12 > Anti-Christ vatican-2 heresies (50 listed) ... followed by many Catholic corrections.

Sections 13 and 13.1 > Photographic *proof* of heresy at the Vatican.

Because of … the Catholic Dogma on automatic excommunication for heresy or for physical participation in a heretic cult (such as the v-2 cult) …

… we were all placed, body and soul, *outside* of Christianity (the Catholic Church) on 8 December 1965 … the close date of the “council”.

Section 13.2 > Catholic Dogma on automatic excommunication for heresy or participating in a heretic cult such as ... vatican-2, lutheran, methodist, evangelical, etc.

Section 107 > St. Athanasius (died 373 A.D.) ... “Even if the Church were reduced to a handful ...” - - during the “arian” heresy ... we are there again, but worse.

Section 13.3 > Matt 16:18, Gates of Hell scripture ... is *not* about the Office of the Papacy ... four Dogmatic Councils defined it ... that heresy will not cause the Dogma to disappear.

Section 13.4 > The vatican-2 heretic cult does not have the Office of the Papacy only the Catholic Church has the Papacy.

Section 13.6 > The Catholic Dogma on Jurisdiction and Automatic Excommunication for heresy define that ... God has allowed Catholic Jurisdiction ... for Mass and Confession to disappear from the world. There is no such thing as Catholic Mass outside of the Catholic Church.

Non-Catholic heresies such as “vatican-2”, “sspx”, “sspv”, “cmri”, etc. ... do not have Catholic Mass.

Section 19.1 > Dogma on Abjuration for *re-entering* Christianity (the Catholic Church) … after being automatically excommunicated. A Formal Abjuration is provided here also.

Section 10.2 > Returning to a state of grace, in places and times when Confession is not available, like now.

- - - -

Second Council of Constantinople, 553 A.D. -- infallible Source of Dogma >
"The heretic, even though he has not been condemned formally by any individual, in reality brings anathema on himself, having cut himself off from the way of truth by his heresy."

Blessed John Eudes, died 1680 >
“The greatest evil existing today is heresy, an infernal rage which hurls countless souls into eternal damnation.”

Everything you must know, believe, and do to get to Heaven is on > >

Our Lady of Conquest
Pray for us